As published in The Daily Tremor IV/MMXXVI
Dearest Gentle Reader,
Not to detract from the kinky and treacherous little chess game being played out on islands and oval offices upon planet Earth, but affairs closer to home briefly demand our attention.
The Human League will be receiving a visit.
Yes, PERCY attends their concert next month.
PERCY in consultation. The Lebanon vest says everything. The concert tickets confirm the rest.
Not in his capacity as AVIAN INTELLIGENCE UNIT chief-whip, but in pursuit of his SONIC SPOTLIGHT column for the Daily Tremor.
Word has been heard squawking all along Neuroverse High Street that the anthem The Lebanon may prove difficult for him.
Many of us still dream of 1969,
before the soldiers cameβ¦
PERCY insists it’s purely duty that prevails.
Footage has emerged of PERCY and MANGO, distinctly off duty, which confirms they have long been synth-pop fans.
The Neuroverse Archives keep the record HERE. For posterity, naturally.
PRUDENCE has meanwhile issued a gentle reminder to the Neuroverse that we are, by all accounts, declared pacifists.
This is most fortunate, as a very high percentage of the Neurovian population is navigating menopause.
Lady Hilary F. Had-Enough presides over proceedings.
And so we turn to one of the Neuroverse’s worst-kept secrets.
It has now been widely whispered that ELUSIVE AUTHOR and LADY HILARY F. HAD-ENOUGH have been colluding every Wednesday evening for several months.
A certain oracle’s crystal ball may or may not have been appropriated to stream something from Earth.
We neither confirm nor deny that many Notable Neurovians were seen arriving at HILARY’S residence.
MANGO, making very serious work of the Nigella Pawson Provisionsβ’ Watch Party Selection.
MANGO was recently spotted carrying substantial snack platters in Nigella Pawson Provisionsβ’ bags.
A lot of them.
Through fearless investigative journalism, your EDITOR-IN-CHIEF herself attended, citing integrity, sacrifice, and tax-deductible curiosity.
Proof. Right there in the crystal ball.
It has emerged that what held them captive each Wednesday was none other than the Apple Plus series Shrinking.
Whispers abound that this work is so impactful, its lessons are now being studied.
Its methods examined.
Certain principles voted into lore as new weapons against the NERO SANGUE.
The Forge has been fired.
There is talk of an instructional booklet to remind us that even when no light is in sight, something else may be:
Hope.
Hopeful tools to nurture remission.
Hopeful tools to spot triggers.
Hopeful tools to blindside your NERO SANGUE.
Difference = information.
Difficulty = data.
Adaptation = intelligence.
The Elusive Author is getting seated for the show.
We have it on strong authority that a booklet, penned by our ELUSIVE AUTHOR, naturally, is being penned:
STOP SHRINKING
This is being heralded as a much-needed and unexpected boost, a new chapter in our living Neuroverse that will send the NERO SANGUE into a rich and foamy rage.
Further scandal has emerged that Agent X has been freelancing for the NERO SANGUE.
No one knows why no permanent offer has been made. Until now.
Soon-to-be-released photographic evidence will reveal exactly why.
A hint?
Seems Agent X‘s services may soon be less required than previously feared.
And a reminder that when we feel lost and in difficult times, we can use Stutz’s Life Force Tool to find our feet and start moving forward again.
In the next Tremor, we feature the long-awaited interview with our ELUSIVE AUTHOR, alongside PERCY, the bird with the beat.
Until the next tremor strikes the page, remain steady on the rock within your soul.
We leave you with sturdy compass of honorary Neurovian Atticus Finch:
βHold your head high and fists down.β
With poise, pressure, and prescription assistance,
Your Editor-in-Chief
(Hormone Replacement For Pacifism Patch Division)
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